{BDSM Lockdown} Back to Basics

I think we can all agree that this year has been an interesting one, to say the very least. Lockdown has affected us all differently, and as the world starts to open up again, we are all entering this new world a little bit different, our perspective changed from the last few months.

Personally, lockdown has had a profound change in me. The time has flown by, I must admit, but during this time I have had no choice but to look at what my life is, and ways it could be better. I have taken a closer look at myself and my relationships. I’ve come to realise that my life pre-lockdown was too stressful – placing importance on things that truly did not matter or made me happy. No wonder I was always feeling exhausted!

Anyways… the reason I am saying all of this is because the time at home has allowed me to really look at my relationship with my OH and see where the cracks were, because there were definitely some cracks appearing. We both realised that we needed to do some serious ground work if we wanted our relationship to last. We were both carrying a heavy load, and the relationship was suffering. The work has been tough but rewarding so far. We have had some ugly moments, but also some tender ones and the most important thing is that we are still learning about each other and we continue to put our relationship first.

So with that being said, last week we decided to have a ‘relationship quiz’ night where we cut out some cards and wrote some questions about our relationship. Some where cute and sweet, while others were definitely tougher to answer. A drink beforehand definitely helped us to settle in to the evening but by the end of it, we were so glad we did it as we feel we got to know each other a little better.

I really think this simple excercise can do so much in bringing a relationship closer, specially when communication has taken a back seat. It is important to listen and to be heard, without judgement or remorse, and something like this certainly facilitates things.

Here are some of the questions we asked each other:

1. How do you think you’ve changed over the past few years?
2. What do you want out of this relationship?
3. Do you feel that we make each other better people?
4. What do you value most about our relationship?
5. What was your first impression of me?
6. What made you fall in love with me?
7. What is your favourite memory of us?
8. What’s one thing you feel our relationship is lacking?
9. What is the one thing you have been wanting to ask me, but are scared of doing so?
10. When was the last time you cried?
11. What about our relationship makes you really happy?
12. What do you think is your biggest strength in this relationship?
13. What’s one thing about your life you would never change for someone else, including me?
14. What do I mean to you?
15. If our relationship ended, what’s the one thing about it you’d miss the most?
16. What do you think was your most vulnerable moment in our relationship?
17. What’s your favorite way to receive affection?
18. What is on your bucket-list that we can do together this year?

Obviously you can tailor these to suit your relationship and Google has a ton of links with plenty of sample questions so the possibility are endless. And if you are wondering what does this have to do with BDSM, well, BDSM is all about communication and trust and this is a great way to work towards that.

What other games do you think that can help with intimacy?