I have just spent a good 10 minutes looking through my old catalogue of posts, looking for my last one on wax play when I came to the realisation that I am yet to write about it!! To say this is shocking is an understatement as wax play was my catapult, so to speak, into femdom. There are only very few things I love as much as I love wax play, so it is simply bizarre to think that I have never dedicated a post to it. It is one of my favourite scenes to have because wax play is a sensual play, that invokes intimacy and connection. It is also on the lower scale of pain if wanted (in comparison to whips, canes, needles) and you don’t need expensive equipment to get into it.
My initial thought was to do a run down on my wax kit, as I did have a scene last week with my OH and I thought it would be useful for people to see what items make up my kit. Well, this is that post – however, as I am yet to write a proper post about this lovely and utterly delicious fetish, that will come for sure next!
Disclaimer: Before we proceed any further, wax play obviously involves fire so this needs to be treated with care. Before proceeding with any sort of wax play, there are a few basics you must know, including using BDSM friendly candles only as these melt at a lower temperature, reducing the chance of burning. Keep a first aid burn gel nearby in case you do get things wrong, and avoid delicate areas like face/genitals. Also, please note I am not an expert, and these are just my views/opinions. And as always, follow the SSSC rules – Safe, Sane, Sober, and Consensual.
Back to my kit, this is how I keep things tidy and organised:
I keep all of my ‘wax play scene’ bits in one medium size plastic box, which I guess you can say is far from fancy. For me this is perfect, as I have everything that I need (and as you can see, it isn’t lots) in one organised box so that it is ready for when the mood strikes. The only thing I don’t keep in the box is my wax sheet as I keep that with my other BDSM sheets.
Shall we delve in, then?
1. Wax Sheet
I highly recommend you buy a wax sheet, because wax play is messy and the last thing you want/need is your bedsheets/floor/table ruined with wax. I got these FetishPad from Amazon which offer good value for money. These are disposable but as I only ever use them for wax play with my OH, I do use them for than once. I usually have my scenes on the bed, so these are big enough to cover most of the bed – I also use one to cover the desk I use to place my candles as no matter how careful you are, wax drops end up everywhere.
2.Massage Oil Candles
I highly recommended to start any wax session with a nice oil massage, as this will make the removal of the wax so much easier afterwards. You can use any massage oil you have to hand, or even coconut oil which also leaves the skin oh so soft afterwards. Or, if like me, you just can’t never have too many candles, you can opt for a wax oil candle. I get mine from Lovehoney and they are amazing. Leave them to burn for about 20min or so, then blow out the flame off (very important) and pour it over your partner/s. The warmth of the oil, in combination with the act of massaging, makes it a great warm up and setting up for the scene.
Now on to the main event – candles! As mentioned before, you must get low temperature candles, or you risk causing serious damage. Stick to soy wax as these have a melting point of 54C and avoid beeswax at all costs! Also be wary of additives like scented, colour or metallic candles as these tend to have much higher melting points. If in doubt, go for candles that are tailored for BDSM play. Personally, I like to use a variety of three candles: thin pillars, thicker UV pillars, and cups. The UV pillars are really fun as they glow in the dark (I am such a 90s child!) and these from Etsy are great. The thin pillars are great for dripping small single drops and I find these ones from Bondara to be on the ‘hotter side’ in terms of temperature, so I like to use these at the peak of the session (with candles, the closer to the skin the candle is, the hotter it feels, but with these ones, even at some height, they still have quite the bite, so to speak) Lastly, are my wax pitchers, which basically allow you to pour wax over your partner. I get mine from Agreeable Agony in Etsy (great name!) because the colours really pop, and they are easy to remove afterwards. These are on the ‘milder’ size in terms of temperature, so I use them at the start of the session or when doing a scene with someone who has never done wax play before.
Apart from the above, all you really need is some first aid burn gels in case, and something with an edge to remove the wax afterwards. Soy wax is very soft so removing wax can be done quite easily, specially if you have oiled the skin beforehand. An effective way to do so is using a plastic card such as your old library card (see? they did come of use at the end!). It is tougher to remove wax on hairy skin, but if you rub some oil in the wax, it does help (unless your partner seeks a bit of a pain rush!)
When I am doing a wax scene I like to combine different sensations, so in my kit I also have the following:
- A dropper pipette- I love having a few ice cubes ready, so that I can alternate between pouring hot wax and running a cold ice cube on their skin. I also like to use the pipettes so that I can drop a few ice cold water drops every now and then for a heighten sensation.
- Wartenberg Pinwheels – Oh how I love these spiky medical wheels of pure heaven! I have quite the collection as I am just obsessed with them. I love to run them nice and slow along the skin areas that are wax free, so usually up and down arms and legs. A pro tip I have is to submerge them in ice cold water so that when you use them, they are even more intense (this is not for beginners!) Uberkinky has some amazing ones here!
- Blindfold. Wax play is a form of sensation play, and the moment you remove one of the sense, everything gets amplified, so a blindfold is really useful for that.
The beauty of sensation play is that you are only limited by your imagination. You can really make it your own, using every day items (with caution of course) so that you can work out what sensations you like and which ones you don’t.
I hope this was of use for those of you who are curious to try. If you are already into wax play, let me know what your favourite candles/bits of kits are – I am always on the lookout for new stuff!