{The Kinks in Me} Bondage

Bondage, like with impact play, is one of those fetishes that tends to start with quite an innocent approach. Well, as innocent as anything in the bedroom can be. I know many of my friends have (me included), a very long time ago, ventured into Ann Summers and got their terrible starter kit which had some *gulps* furry handcuffs and a blindfold. (Disclaimer: If you are new into BDSM and you got this kit, worry not, we have all been there, but trust me, it gets so much better) This first experience, as with anything, would then determine if this is your thing or not. For me, it was a definite yes.

I must admit that what attracts me to bondage, is the fact that: 1) I am not in control of my body 2) It gives me a sense of confinement. The latter is a very important for me, as since I was little I have always loved the sense of being ‘stuck’ in small places. Elevators, tunnels and pantry rooms fill me with pure joy. I guess you can say I am a nightmare for anyone who is claustrophobic! After my first experience with the stereotypical handcuffs, I was sadly unable to venture more as my partner at the time was not really into it, so I really did not delve into bondage until much later in life, when I met my OH.

My first ‘BDSM’ bondage experience was when my OH did a beautiful ‘corset’ on me. He used a very soft black rope, and I just loved the entire experience; the physical closeness between him and me, the patience it takes to stand still, the pressure of the ropes against my skin and of course, the end result- a beautiful and delicate intricacy on my body.

From that day, I kept a little note in my brain to try and delve more into this kink whenever I had the opportunity. I even ventured into Anatomie in London a few times, which is a peer to peer rope class, and by far the best place for it with the nicest, friendliest and most knowledgeable people I have met.

After a few months of trying new things within this fetish, things needed to go up a notch….

Suspension for me has always been such a memorising act; the women always look so elegant and poised. It looks almost magical; beautiful creatures suspended as if from thin air. I wanted to be one of these beautiful women, and to see how it would feel being suspended and confined. I am very fortunate to know some amazing riggers in the scene, but I knew from the start that I wanted my friend Chris to be ‘my first one’ (as corny as that sounds). He was the rigger for Club DVS (read my review here, the night is currently on hold but whispers tell me they may start again next year) and someone who I knew would be the best person for me. Luckily he agreed to it, and it was everything I wanted it to be and so much more.

The first I noticed during the scene, was how ‘rough’ the ropes felt. When you are doing bondage in the bedroom, the ropes do not need to be as tight on your body, but for suspension, well, they need to be able to keep your body in place, so they are tied around you with a lot more pressure. I also liked the different stages before you are actually suspended; you start by having your chest and arms tied first, and this gives you the time to get in the zone, then one leg is tied, and the anticipation creeps in, and in no time at all, voila, you are floating! Once I was suspended, that is when the adrenaline and all the hormones kicked in – I was instantly in subspace. The feeling of blood rushing to my head, the weight of my body pressing against the ropes, my hair covering my face… I felt as if I was alone in the room, and the only thing I could hear was my heartbeat. My first position was me being sideways, so I was comfortable for quite some time – Chris then took things one step further and moved me to my front, so like a superhero, with my legs bend quite high. This position was definitely a lot more uncomfortable but it was a sensation I was loving – I wouldn’t describe it as pain in the same way as when I am being flogged, but this is more of a feeling of heaviness. I was acutely aware of how heavy my body felt, and how my breathing was more elaborate. I stood there for a few minutes, focusing on every sensation in my body. After a while though, I couldn’t take the pressure anymore and I had to ask Chris to release me.

The memory of that first time is still fresh in my memory, and I definitely want to test my limits. My OH is also keen on this which is amazing, as he is learning the skills he needs for it and I get to soon become his first ‘suspension bunny’.