I often find myself having the usual discussion I know many of my girls have when in the company of men. It goes something around the lines of ‘Why are women so difficult?‘ , or, ‘Seriously, no one understand women, not even women do.‘ These types of conversations always fascinate me, because it kind of revolves around the assumption that women are ‘aliens’ and totally abnormal.
I like to use visual ideas when talking about a woman, and the best thing I can use is an onion. An onion is composed by many layers, built one on top of another perfectly, in order to create a perfectly round onion. A woman is also the result of many layers. Men are more like potatoes; one big piece of starch- no layers, simple.
When you talk about women and their behaviour, you need to understand that women are born and raised very differently to men. We are taught to be obedient to men, to always look nice and to ensure that we are smart, but never smarter than a men. These ‘morals’ are taught in very subtle but persistent ways, and as our Mothers were taught the same morals, it becomes tradition.
We also tend to be more emotionally-driven than men, so we make our choices strongly on how we feel about them. I say ‘tend’ because just like men, not all women are the same. Some women are not very emotionally-driven and are actually more fact-orientated, so please do not assume all women are the same. Because we are not. I have met plenty of men who are more complex than women.
The ‘problem‘ with women is that we are not as simple as men, and that confuses them. If you think about it, only men think we are a ‘problem.’ Women understand women, and yes, we do fight against each other, but that’s what men have inflicted into our upbringing for many centuries, so let’s not dive- in too much into it. Women are complex individuals and men are not. We are different, and that is the point. You do not necessarily have to understand us, but just respect how we are, because we find men’s simplicity bewildering and yet here we are tolerating you lot.
So how do you deal with a woman? That is actually simple. Once you understand we are emotionally-driven, then you begin to understand that situations which have a negative impact on us, will deeply affect us- and it can be as simple as forgetting to buy milk on your way home. Remember we are hormonal, which is something we cannot control but it can affect us.
1. Talk to us. Honestly, what is it with men and not talking? Communicate. We need to know how you feel so that we can understand you better. Also, if you need to know how I am doing, then ask. ONE RULE: If you are going to ask me how I feel, you must want to know how I feel. Men think that they can just pretend to care, but we have brains, we know when you are pretending, and nothing infuriates a woman more than a pretender.
2. Treat us with respect. You would think this is normal, right? But it is not! We are not your Mother, so stop acting like a child. We are not sexual toys either, so stop acting like a sex-maniac. We are humans just like you, and we can support ourselves perfectly fine, so please don’t try to take advantage of us. We deserve respect the same way you do. So talk to us like the humans that we are, and treat me with respect. A respected woman will respect her man, and ensure that she supports her man as a companion, NOT as a mother or a servant. Big Difference.
3. WE ARE NOT YOUR MOTHER. Do I really need to say more?
4. We need love. Like I said, we are emotionally-driven individuals, so we need attention. A morning text, the occasional dinner, damn, even if you just clean the house for once. Show that you care by actually doing something. Words are just words and they don’t mean anything.
5. Take interest in something we like. Oh the times I have watched football in my lifetime….and yes, I do know the offside rule and no, its not that complicated. Just as women sit there on a Sunday afternoon watching Super Sunday Football (right now I am watching Man City vs Newcastle as proof!), we would like if you did something for us. And no, it doesn’t have to be fashion related. We are more than just pencil skirts and Louboutins. If you want to know what we like, please revert to point 1.
6. You are not the Sun in our universe. For centuries we have been taught that ideal, and it has been only in recent times where we have finalilly realised that men are not everything to us. The above picture for me always amuses me because it is so true. Non-fattening Cake or Men? CAKEEEEEEE ALL THE WAYYY
The above point is a very relevant one because women are at a stage where we have been given a voice, and we simply do not know what to do with it exactly or how do we go in advancing our freedoms. We now know we can do the things men do and we do not have to be dominant by them, and yet, we cannot take the last step and realise one’s full potential. All we want is freedom, to make our own decisions and to be treated with the same respect as men. Do that and we are going to be happy bunnies. (or give us cake, we always accept cake)
My point is, women are not a ‘problem’. We are complicated and complex individuals who are expected to fulfill many roles throughout our lives, and sometimes the expectations given to us can make up the complexity within us, but all we want and need is respect, love, and someone who truly listens to us. You don’t have to understand us, (we still can’t figure you guys out either) but you should just be there, as supportive to us as how we are to you.
As the saying goes, a Happy Wife is a Happy Life so stop complaining about us and you shall be rewarded!